New Fizzy Customer Services!

 

 

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Imagine a World with no customer services?

Or maybe something in between…. AIs serving our roast beefs at the Pub?

Yes we are all watching a decline in customer services’ personality and quality, as it was a skilled role taken for granted and too often unrecognised.

You could find the rudest, stinkiest pest throwing your coffee on your shirt in the exact same perimeter where the sweetest, most loving, funny girl was greeting another customer by his name.

As there still are some big companies who do value their stock, here’s  couple of tips I  have picked up during my career.

Instead of

“How can I help you?” just ask

“How can I make your day?”

Its fresher, more engaging and has a proven impact on sales and customer loyalty.

“How can I  help ” is patronising, implying our dear customers need some kind of help- while it is the Firm that needs their flow!

During the engagement, seek out to hear the customers’ stories, be genuinely interested and remember the face and story and product sold to this customer for the next time he stops by.

The customer must leave the premises/ phone/ email conversation with his spirits uplifted for the rest of the day. This is our job.

Finally, when then customer leaves, just say

“Thanks for visiting us!”

Because I am pretty sure we flesh and bone humans can outskill the AIs…

Have a great day and hope you get visited by the funniest customers!

Comments welcome.

More jokes here.

Single, Glamorous, & In Control.

  • [sociallocker id=932][/sociallocker]Single and Free. A great place to be. A magnet for opportunity. A chance to regain your head, heart and time.

To make the most of this free vacation, here are some great ideas to make the leap!

 

1- Create your own glamour strategy.

For instance, if you like doing the shopping, take a cabin light suitcase instead of plastic bags or a trolley. You will notice the globe-trotter effect.

2- You are always in the public eye. Even at home. This is why I always advise to invest in a quality night robe- because you never know who will be knocking on your door, at anytime.

3- Make two separate “errand outfits” available. Something casual you can easily slip in preferably in neutral colours.

4- Develop a unique original cooking recipe from your own taste buds. It may take time, but once you’re good at it you will conquer the world through its belly.

5- Make technology gabriel-matula-301987-unsplash   work for you, and not others. Set your privacy and availability preferences- you don’t want the 24- hour- on – call stressful feeling making you paranoid.

The same applies to becoming dependant on technology- you will look pathetic -and your existence will be pathetic- if your life is at your fingertips’ mercy.

Cut down on social media and switch your devices off for at least an hour a day.

6- Choose comfort over glamour. That doesn’t mean chopping your hair off a la garconne… but you know how unappealing high heels look when the ankles are blistered.

7- Be the Real Princess. Never do anything in your own company that you would not do in front of Prince Charming. Habits are creepy little Devils that create reflexes.

8- Have a favourite secret little place where you feel you connect easily with yourself. It may be a bench at a park, the office roofterrace or even a nightclub. Make sure you do not disclose this location even if you happen to believe  you’ve “found the One” and can’t resist sharing the very place where you feel empowered.

9- Learn a few words or funny phrases in another tongue everytime you chat with a different language speaker. Some funny, positive words they ‘ll be proud to teach you.

10- Memorize at least two clean jokes.

11- Plan an “I’m not interested- leave me alone” strategy.

If you can walk away, it can be something like

-Oh, no, my beans are burning on the fire!

or if you’re on a plane, train or waiting room, you can think of anything like ” I haven’ t slept for two nights and I need my hours not to get wrinkles “.

12- Acknowledge your origins.

” I’m from the nineties, I need my shot of dancing”.

” You don’t mess up with a Spanish woman”.

” My grandma slaughtered cattle on her farm”.

It will show you’ve had a Youth and are still kinda living it, and you have pumping blood in your system.

13- When you go shopping, choose items you would wear on a week- end escapade or on your best friend’s Hen night- as opposed to work or dating. This way you will dress like the Real You.

14- Elaborate a fantastic lie to sound test people- you will find the right time when you Laugh and ask “did you really believe I had a microchip implant fitted in my navel?”

15- Embrace tradition. Wear a wrist watch. Use a paper diary that will not let you down. Carry a pen, tissues, and cash.

16- Erase sentences starting with ” I  hate…” from your daily speech.

17- Learn something useful for life and not only career: First Aid, Deaf Sign Language or mending a car. Now you’ve got the time!

18- Go and Splash some cash on that Cabbage Patch Kid you dreamed of adopting when you were eleven years old- and never got, or that motorbike you wished you had as a teen or even a that trip to the Niagara Falls your selfish first husband kept on postponing. Time hasn’t managed to change you that much!

19- Making new healthy habits at the same time your ditching old bad habits proves there’s no time to waste or to procrastinate.

20- Be extra careful with who you tell last night’s freaky weird dream to- people will be able to read your subconscious mind- so beware of the competition!

21- Instead of using foul language when you really gotta swear, make up your own funny personalised words which can range from a food you dislike e.g “hairy chicken!” to a politician you loathe “X in pajamas!”.

And remember, fantasizing with romance is equally as healthy as any other subject of fantasy- so allow your imagination to flow while you’e the Queen of Your Castle!

Thanks for sharing!

 

More humour here.