You loved to be cat called, Selena, and this time I was going to do this in a way you never heard before.
Since you moved in upstairs, three months back, my Budgie had stopped singing every morning because of your loud Moby playing, because you jumped around the living room like a drunk tapdancer. My budgie was even singing Moby kind tones after a while, which I found unpleasant.
Don’t procrastinate. Don’t procrastinate. Go ahead! Was what I had to repeat to my clients who sought for counselling everyday. Why wasn’t I doing that myself?
That day I grabbed a saucepan so you would hear me behind the door, and to my surprise, you said
“Hey, neighbour! You’ve run out of salt? There’s some in the kitchen, to the left, help yourself!”
As sweet and fresh as you sounded, I was not going to be charmed .
– We haven’t run out of salt, but of patience!
You stopped the music and took a sip from a shiny bottle.
– Take a seat.
– You noisy Pretty Woman are annoying us with those Moby beats in the mornings!
– I’ve been told so.
– Is that all you can say, I’ve been told so? wait until I issue you with a pet shrink’s bill and then you won’t even be able to afford a handkerchief to cover your muscles….!
– Take it easy, girl. What kind of music do you guys like?
I didn’t know what to say, I was so angry.
– Then why don’t you and the little budgie come join me every morning for my fitness routine?
This was the minute I thought I had lost my voice: me, exercising daily, and for free? Wasn’t this exactly what I recommended my clients to get on with?
A flash went through my head. I couldn’t barely go up a flight of stairs without going out of breathe, and all my online dating ended up with the phrase “I’ll be in touch”.
You drank the rest of the shiny bottle of whatever it was and said,
I’ll see you and the budgie, tomorrow 6 AM, and you don’t need to bring the saucepan with you….
I heard my budgie singing high downstairs as you pinched my behind. Couldn’t help laughing, but, inside, I still held a grudge over you. Even today!
* * *
The rest of the day was a clumsy one, as I couldn’t figure out whether I was more intrigued by yourself and our new friendship, or by the body transformation.
The fact is our first workout day was a giggling one as you kept on asking my budgie to sing this or that song and my budgie kept nodding as I had never noticed before.
I got cat called for the first time in fifteen years on my way to work: ” betty boo is late to work, wish I had a car to give her a lift!”
Cucumber smoothies after the workout, budgie dancing to copy us and policing questions like ” how did you acheive this look, tell me?” were just a few of the many joys you, my neighbour Pretty Woman Selina, brought into my life. Not to mention the naughty pizzas we gobbled every Sunday evening…. while scrolling down through the dating website.
Brenda, my neighbour on the right, and Nancy, the block’s cleaner, very soon joined in.
Then one day, as the pizza delivery was absurdly late, you broke into tears and told me your story.
A promising career as a dance/fitness monitor at a tropical island hotel spa had been wrecked by the jealous director’s wife, who caught him reviewing the souvenir class footages.
She had pressed charges against you for a sprained ankle and so you lost your license unfairly. But as we spoke and you mentioned the name of the couple, he happened to be one of my clients, and recently divorced!
We didn’t make contact through my premises, but you found him on that hilarious dating site. His ex wife was poorly, and luckily, Brenda talked you through forgiving her and lending her a helping hand.
What could be nicer than a new baby budgie couple to cheer her up and join our morning fun?
Not only friendship ties were becoming the norm around these budgies, but the once jealous avenger mended her mistakes, she built a new fresh friendship with her ex.
We fit five ladies are opening a bird sanctuary in the empty space behind the block garage- and a fitness lounge just beside!
The Sunday pizzas are still our naughty secret so please keep your mouth shut…. oh, and remember: budgies don’t like to hold a grudge, and they don’t like techno!
Thanks for sharing!
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Image by Dalton Touchberry from Unsplash.