Antiviral Jokes

9B5D1A3A-D555-4153-96B1-C98B25445615A lady in her thirties has been applying for work-from-home jobs since a couple of weeks. Then one morning, her phone starts buzzing. It’s for a job!

After she is asked a few easy questions about her experience, the interviewer gets serious and says,

– “All this sounds great. Now we have one, final question.

– “okay”

– “Do you have coronavirus?”

– “Corona.. .what?”

– “Co-ro-na-vi-rus….”

– “What on earth is that?”

*          *          *

The bus is crowded and Phil just wants to get home. Suddently he starts coughing and all heads turn to him. He has to think quick.

– “Are you infected?” Asks a caring old lady as all other passengers press the stopping bell, trying not to touch one another.

– “It’s ok, no need to panic! I wasn’t coughing…. I accidentally swallowed my mobile phone this morning!”

*          *          *

– “What do headmasters and coronaviruses have in common?”

–  “They’re reckless when it comes to punishment.”

*          *          *

We are a few months past the coronavirus times, but David the hacker is still sat in front of his computer for long periods at a time.

– David! It’s all over now! Why don’t we get on the van and go on a camping ride?

– ” I’m ok thanks. ”

– “At least tell me what you’re upto! Im intrigued!”

– ” Well, I’m trying to protect my computer against that virus, in case is has mutated into a corona-software bug!”

*          *          *

Three colleagues go for a check-up.

On their way out, they feel relaxed.

– Did they find anything wrong with you?

– Nope! They only said I got self-building muscles.

– Oh, that sounds good! And you?

– Well, the results came up as a phantom pregnancy….

– Oh. How about you?

– All good, except for a media-induced coronavirus addiction!

*          *          *

A businessman comes home to his loving wife to find her masked, wearing gloves, and walking about in her fins.

– I think you’re getting slightly over the top honey…

– Now you’re going to ask me to give you a half hour foot massage with no gloves, am I right?

*          *          *

A large family are at home during coronavirus period, wondering what to do with themselves, when the eldest kid comes up with an idea-

– Lets play “survival of the fittest”!

– What’s that? the middle sister asks.

– Whoever can do the highest number of sit-ups without coughing gets to eat the  jaffa cakes!

*          *          *

That’s all for today!

Keep washing hands and carry on….

More humour here