A lady in her thirties has been applying for work-from-home jobs since a couple of weeks. Then one morning, her phone starts buzzing. It’s for a job!
After she is asked a few easy questions about her experience, the interviewer gets serious and says,
– “All this sounds great. Now we have one, final question.
– “okay”
– “Do you have coronavirus?”
– “Corona.. .what?”
– “Co-ro-na-vi-rus….”
– “What on earth is that?”
* * *
The bus is crowded and Phil just wants to get home. Suddently he starts coughing and all heads turn to him. He has to think quick.
– “Are you infected?” Asks a caring old lady as all other passengers press the stopping bell, trying not to touch one another.
– “It’s ok, no need to panic! I wasn’t coughing…. I accidentally swallowed my mobile phone this morning!”
* * *
– “What do headmasters and coronaviruses have in common?”
– “They’re reckless when it comes to punishment.”
* * *
We are a few months past the coronavirus times, but David the hacker is still sat in front of his computer for long periods at a time.
– David! It’s all over now! Why don’t we get on the van and go on a camping ride?
– ” I’m ok thanks. ”
– “At least tell me what you’re upto! Im intrigued!”
– ” Well, I’m trying to protect my computer against that virus, in case is has mutated into a corona-software bug!”
* * *
Three colleagues go for a check-up.
On their way out, they feel relaxed.
– Did they find anything wrong with you?
– Nope! They only said I got self-building muscles.
– Oh, that sounds good! And you?
– Well, the results came up as a phantom pregnancy….
– Oh. How about you?
– All good, except for a media-induced coronavirus addiction!
* * *
A businessman comes home to his loving wife to find her masked, wearing gloves, and walking about in her fins.
– I think you’re getting slightly over the top honey…
– Now you’re going to ask me to give you a half hour foot massage with no gloves, am I right?
* * *
A large family are at home during coronavirus period, wondering what to do with themselves, when the eldest kid comes up with an idea-
– Lets play “survival of the fittest”!
– What’s that? the middle sister asks.
– Whoever can do the highest number of sit-ups without coughing gets to eat the jaffa cakes!
* * *
That’s all for today!
Keep washing hands and carry on….
More humour here…