Spring’s ears are showing!

1. -Why did Shannon the teenager get arrested during the pandemic?

– She sported a mask that read the words “Kiss Me”.

2. Why did Leisha have a license to not wear a mask? she was always so angry, she scared the heck out of the viruses….

3. Three schoolmates reunite after twenty years.

The first says,

– I am in the happiest marriage in the world, look, my husband got me a rare pink diamond ring…

– that’s not what I call the happiest… my husband has my name and surname tattooed onto his forearm…

– you girls haven’t known happiness yet. my husband is the most loving in the world…
– how can you prove this? says the first friend,

– look here, the third girl lifts her skirt a little…, my hubby has me under a chastity belt!!!!

4. A woman is spotted by a police car, running naked around her neighbourhood. She is stopped.

– Okay, she says, you guys are going to fine me for being naked?

– Not really, ma’am. We are going to issue you with a fine for not wearing a mask. So please show us some I.D.

– As you can see I’m not carrying any I.D. on me! so you are going to jail me for not having any I.D. on me, right?

– You are wrong again, lady. We are going to jail you for exceeding the town’s speeding limit!

5. – Good morning,  I’m calling to book a cab with a vegetarian driver, please….

– A vegetarian driver?

– Thats right. You see, my husband loves me to wear that stinky perfume his mum got me… that smells like chicken…. and so I don’t want the driver to eat me!

Have a great springtime, and don’t forget to share!

Last Winter Jokes!

A gangster’s girlfriend is missing the intimate bit of the relationship, and decides to take action. She gets a policewoman outfit at the carnival shop, then eagerly waits for her man in the early morning, dressed up like his highest fantasy.
At last, and looking tired of an exciting night doing this and that, the boyfriend shows up and rolls his eyes at her sight.
– Jenny, is that you?
– yes, I ve been hired as an officer yesterday, I wanted to keep it as a surprise….
she starts unbuttoning her shirt expecting some kind of accrued passion- when he cries,
– could I borrow the suit to take some selfies?

* * *

A junkie’s daughter is asked at school what she would like to be when she grows up.

-Definitely, I want to be an astronaut!

– oh, do you?

-sure I do. I saw in a film they got massive, massive, stocked up fridges on spaceship board!

* * *

An angry customer walks into a pet shop with his dog and waits for his turn.

-Madame, I d like a refund for this maltersers dog because I’m disappointed.

– could you go more into detail?

– well, he behaves like a human. He puts back the lid onto the shampoo after his bath, brings slippers to my guests and always gives the remote control to my wife.

– I see. I’m afraid that’s not a good reason enough for a refund.

– Not a good reason enough? then please exchange my wife for a nice young lady that enjoys watching wrestling shows like I do!!!

* * *

A forty year old has had a bike accident and is in a deep coma. His relatives are desperately gathered around his bed when a drunk nurse walks in and sprays something onto the poor dying man’s nose.

As un unexplained miracle, the hopeless man is revived by the shock, coughs, swears and looks around…. his family are crying with happiness.

Two weeks later, the biker’s wife is reading a letter and cries

-You pig! you ve been pestering young ladies!

-I don’t know what you’re on about….?

-Yes, that nurse at the hospital had stuffed your face with some anti-rapist gas, and is know demanding half of our fortune…. or she will take you to court over sexauel assault charges!!!!

* * *

Do enjoy the last winter days, don’t forget where you stock your skiing boots….. and get some great books here to prepare for the beautiful springtime!

….and that’s OK!

I only cry when I’m happy… and that’s ok.

I don’t check my email everyday…. and I haven’t missed a bargain.

I don’t fantasize with being a billionaire… I appreciate all my pennies.

I give spare change without making assumptions…. and also blow a smile.

I’m still faithful to my partner…. and this is great.

I pray myself to sleep every night….. and the Lord answers my prayers.

I don’t but expensive attires, and my shoes feel like comfy slippers.

I make dollies to give away to the orphanages, and the reward is priceless.

I listen to old ladies’ stories while waiting for the bus, and I love what they have to say.

The first thing I cry when I wake out of a nightmare is… “hooray!”.

I still sleep by my childhood teddy bear, and in a way believe he’s got life.

I don’t use make-up or hair dye, and that’s ok, they say.

I have made friends from all walks of life, and genuinely care for their well being.

I forgive and I pray for my worse enemies, and some have become great friends.

I secretly put marshmallows in my dieting best friend’s chocolate drink, and she’s still losing weight.

I deliberately over-tip bad service, as a good lesson to those working in pain.

I don’t socially drink- but instead sneak into the kitchen and clean the dishes…. and this is ok.

I make up the funniest passwords, and haven’t forgotten one to this day.

I don’t envy young fit women, instead I’m proud our city has this great asset to be decorated with.

I take monkey face selfies to make us all laugh when bored…. and that’s ok.

And you, my friend, don’t you think most of the things you do are…. just OK?

The End.

Jokes Instead Of Masks.

A man walks in to his routine medical check-up, and the physician finishes reading the test results.

-OK, I’m going to prescribe you one bottle of whiskey a day, along with one pack of cigarettes, three full courses of your favourite junk food, and a weekly visit to the gentlemen’s club.- This sounds great! Says the patient in disbelief, but are you sure all this will make me better?

– Errr….. well, replies the Doctor….. considering you only have six weeks to live…

* * *

Did you hear about the beginner’s skydiving group who didn’t make it past the first jump?

The instructor had gotten so absorbed into explaining the proper use of masks, he skipped the bit where was to teach how to fold a parachute….

* * *

Hi, Nancy! Long time! How ‘ve you guys been coping with the pandemic?

– Well, as everybody else, we ‘re pretty fed up with it all. I mean, eating our foods in wrapped paper, not being able to slap my kids when they are naughty, and kissing my husband through a mask…. and you?

– Oh, I find this all a very relaxing way of life…. except that I am spending a ridiculous amount of cash on clothes-matching designer masks!

* * *

Mum, I’m sick and tired of this pandemic! You’re all glued to the TV set, we ‘re not allowed to go clubbing, and everyday the mask spoils my make-up!

* * *

Honey, I think you should at once come to terms with your midlife belly: I would like you to use the stairs instead of the lift, carry all the groceries home for me, and redecorate my study from scratch…

– Would you also like me do your manicure everyday?

* * *

Natasha, I got great news! I’m going to lose three stone in three months ahead!

– That sounds fabulous! How are you going to achieve this?

Well, I bought a set of cutlery online which neutralizes all the calories you eat!

* * *

-Did you hear about the rapper who was queuing for six hours at the medical surgery’s?

– We was wishing to get his Ferrari vaccinated.

That’s all for today!

The good news is, you may now buy this Blog’s book

Keep enjoying!

The Vain Cherry

I am a Cherry, they call me the Dolly

Swung by the July wind under a Sun so keen

Too high up for the farmers to pick me

Yet at a height where I can hear the laughter of fellow cherries.

Today is so perfect, I am ripe and the World loves me

The day is long my tan is getting deep

Even the birds celebrate the Beauty

That exceeds from a redness whose name is a mystery

The wind is playing about and teasing joyfully

My tree is so strong I can live beyond my dreams

I’m not scared of dying, the perfect day is near

Engraved onto my seed which is my heart I keep at rear

How can a day be so long while a minute flies like steam?

At the garden community of bees and foxes

One day I shall be no more, but thrown into a box

Some greedy kid will gobble me and forget to plant my seed

Thank Goodness my friends will save me as they have once promised me:

The best best place in the wilderness by a cemetery

Where the snow disrupts the cities then melts like ice cream

Oh, no! A lady is picking us… I can’t help but to scream

The wind has taken away her bank card and ID

In return for daring to choose me so randomly

In a truck, at full speed, I feel surprised to enjoy this unexpected journey

I might not see the sun again, nor the foxes, or the bees

Yet I will certainly become part of some ideal feast

I had the time to say goodbye to my maker the Cherry Tree

He said I would be fine, and that one day become like he.

The End.

Thanks for sharing!

You may now buy the Blog Book

How a Rejection Bite becomes a Positive Incentive Booster.

Rejection. And the always longest routes we take in order to avoid it…. yet, some of us have had to learn the way to construcitively embrace it, making it a volcano-like source of free Energy…. But how?

Once I was studying at University when I finally landed on a local job interview. Sounded ideal! Duties were to nag passers into joining a private gym. That day the candidates were scattered about the area on a two-hour unpaid trial…. When I thought that it could have turned out to be a two hour waste of time, hope and energy, I gave my best in some kind of awe, and as awkward as the job felt to me, when my time was up there were customers I had convinced…. queuing at the premises.

I had never enjoyed a bet so much. And also won it!

The boss was incredibly uneasy, saying how good at it I was, to the point he couldn’t hire me. Even after hearing this, inspiration was running up my system, I would have done the job for free, wouldn’t it be for my academic duties. At least the lad was honest!

His appraisal landed me on my dream job which was the next, I would ever be grateful to him, even today- the skills I had built up during thise two anguished hours gave me the means to survive inside unknown terrains…. for a decade more.

I learnt to deal with rejection, if one says no I’ll ask even better next time, and so I became successful in many aspects of my life- especially professional.

We cannot tug our heads into mummy’s bosom everytime we get a rude negative- no matter what the kind of negative. My answer is, try harder!

Take, for instance, Melanie. She was a grossly obese overseas School cleaner, always picked on by the kids in the playground, who called her “Big Mamma” and played tricks on her.

After 6 months she had a decent survival’s command of English, and, fed up with the spoilt western kids, she one day snatched a football from the playground bully and started to sing a funny song from her homeland.

At first they laughed at her louder, but once they heard the melody and funny acting they all fell into her spell, not wanting to go back to class or home after the bells rung, and behaving in a newly and very civilised manner. Melanie was offered an after school playwork job within the premises and soon regrouped her family back to her new land.

It is just amazing how rejection can strike the right chord!

Another case is Amanda. Always being pointed out for her strange sense of humour and telling stories, she could never get a date throughout college. Once a guy pretended to date her just for a bet. On the last day I saw her, the chicks leader told her ” you should start a career in drama” and so Amanda left the cantine- we thought she was crying….. but no. Amanda became a famous comedian on a popular channel, married a producer and has now four kids!

When I saw the chick who picked on her I started to mention Amanda and she quickly changed subjects in shame….

And to finish we must know Stuart “pinocchio” ‘s story. Pinocchio always had a nose bleed, was utterly clumsy and wanted to be an astronaut, a taxi driver, then a pilot…. His parents even had to change him schools, for he was cruelly bullied.

Once on my way to a conference, an elderly lady slipped over the snow as she got off the bus. I immediately recognised a firm voice crying out,

” Don’t move, Madame, just lay your head over this jacket, I’m a doctor, and the medics will be here in a few minutes.” To my surprise, it was Pinocchio, looking after an old lady who had hit her nose on the pavement!

I couldn’t help to let a tear drop from eye, for it was not the right moment to rekindle with old schoolmates, obviously….

So let’s face it. Rejection is not only a part of life, but of everyday life, til the very last day, it’s human nature.

So we can choose- either we let ourselves get crushed and make be miserable for a lifetime, or we instead alchemise it and let the giant within ourselves take the opportunity to awaken and succeed.

Sometimes a rude encounter, expecting to ruin our day, unconsciously unleashes a little known daredevil inside of us who is eager to regain its freedom.

Always pointed out as being broke? Let the gossiping orchestra go on for a little while longer, as you save your pennies for a five figure business you have always had in mind!

But please, always remember to forgive this rude individual….for maybe he was having a rough time, spotted the giant within you, the giant he or she does not have inside…. he has done you a priceless favour!

A bet is a bet.

The End.

My 2020 Highlights.

My summer holidays…

Now what a year… 2020!

It has been the block year when I lost my keyring but found my set of keys

Got mad at myself then made up with lovely deeds

Set impossible goals all of which I achieved

Lost some dear friends and printed their names on my heart

Found a new stay at home style then took it with me to the office

Discovered my Faith was not buried… but burning inside of me

I encountered a kind friend inside my worst ennemy

Discovered my coping strategy was only shredded spaghetti

Rekindled new hobbies that make my life pretty.

I hope you all look back on the good memories- and if you think there’s one impossible thing to achieve, try again…. again… and again.

Destiny shows its own fancies!!!!

New suprise book coming very soon!!!

Happy Christmas and a Great 2021 to my dear readers!

Sandra xxx

For more Jokes, please check

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Books-Sandra-Zouak/s?rh=n%3A266239%2Cp_27%3ASandra+Zouak

Thanks!

Stylish Persuasion

The smell of cheap cigarettes on Suna’s hair every Friday evening had become the main conversation topic during her parent’s spare time.

Excelling at work was the only thing that kept them together.

– ” I told you we should have let her go to hairdressing school.”

– “I’ll think of something”, said the dad, with an idea in his head already.

Gloria was greatly relieved, even if sometimes his ideas were not so good.

– “Suna! Where are you? We’re going to dump the rubbish.  Will you lend us a hand?”

– “Oh no, I just sprayed some perfume!”

– “Come on Suna, you smell more like an ashtray from the spa’s staff room…

She blushed and hurried to tie her trainers.

– “Did you get your grades?”

– ” No idea yet.”

– ” argh! You gave me the heaviest, stinkest bag!”

– “It’s the last one you carry.”

She turned pale.

– ” We’ve heard you’ve been doing your friends’ hair in exchange for cigarettes. …Very peculiar. .. Is this true?”

– ” Yep!”

– Well We’ve got two pieces of news for you. First, you have just dumped a carton of cigarettes a client brought me.

– er… what? Cigarettes?

– Yes, cigarettes. You can search through the rubbish for them. Your mum’s got a new perfume for you.

– Why did you do that? She sniffed her wrists, staring at the garbage heasitantly.

He gave her a couple of minutes to think. She stayed still.

– “Second!”

– ” What? ”

– ” Second piece of news,  and it’s good news- you just dumped your schoolpass, because …. you have been admitted at that cool hairdressing college you wanted to go to… beside the fact we ticked the “smokers” box when choosing a room….

– “Dad, mum! Is this true? ” A tear flew from her dark eyes.

– “As true as your cigarette scent.”

Uneasily she said “Thanks”, and had a quick glance at the garbage.

Gloria pulled a bag from the car and handed it to Suna.

– ” Perfume, cigarettes! I don’t want the Cigarettes! Let me dump them in the rubbish!”

– ” Ha, ha, ha Suna, with your old fashioned trading skills you can get a free treatment day at the Spa for that carton!

– ” No spa for me. I’ll give them to Annie for having messed up her braids last week…

– “You messed them up?

– “It’s a long story.”

– “In one sentence?”

– ” My boyfriend got her a few designer samples!… She smelt her hands again… ”

-” Does she smoke?”

– “Like a barbecue! but never infront of guys…. Gosh I’m gonna miss her… ” She smiled and asked her mum- “do you mind if I also give her the perfume?”

– “Excellent! We’re proud of you now! Now go upstairs to pack your stuff… you’re starting school on Monday!

– “Great… but one little thing- can you change my room for a non smokers one?”

Her parents kissed each other.

The End.

dedicated to Gloria, my Gloria from south London, Marcia, my Gloria from central london, and I can’t remember… . oh, LARA, my…..

to all children  of God.

thanks, geezazzz….

You may now buy the Blog Book

Mustard Shampoo

20200407_154806

– “Oh no Frances, don’t do that again! It’s only Tuesday…. What time is it?”

– “Early enough, and listen to this, it says Venus is aligning with the Moon today, and small events stemming from Capricorn’s innate daryness  will pamper you with a stream of luxurious payback…. can you translate this?”

– ” It means I need three spoons of sugar in my coffee today, stewardess!”

– “Oh.. I forgot to tell you, yesterday: we’ve run out of coffee.”

– “aarrrggghhhh…. check inside Tommy’s lottery box- if he’s still snoring…. you might find a couple of free coffee samples, as the horoscope suggests…”

– “I’m afraid I can’t, it says here- geminis  need to emphasise on time keeping today, or else  we may have to face self-piling workload.”

– “ok. Don’t forget the Arabica mild roast on your way back.”

– “I’ll write it on my hand. Bye! Don’t fall back asleep lucky capricorn!”

By a chance of luck, as I reach for my phone…. the battery’ s dead. Frances saved me again, because I had set the alarm  buzz for seven am.

Through the window I watch her walk away in a confident hurry, sporting a purple uniform and her favourite yellow crocs.

–  “Frances, I’m not a Capricorn, I’m a Sagittarius!!!” My words are trashed away by the noisy rubbish truck.

*          *          *

The boss has given us an extra lunch half hour, and once again the receptionist wants me to take her sample-hunting.

– “Let’s have lunch first, I suggest, there’s no queueing at the food stall right now. They said there might be a storm.”

– “What, is that what Francesca read on today’s horoscope?”

– “Don’t be jealous of her. She’s had it hard.”

– “And so have we all. Three samples for me and only one for her!”

– “Hot dogs?”, Asks the food stall lady.

– “Two for me with no ketchup, loads of mustard,  extra napkins and chopsticks please!” Anita’s not pulling her leg.

– “That will be eight pounds fifty, just eight pounds for you.”

– “I ‘ve not got enough coins…. so: Same order please,  but without the hotdogs!”

–  “Ummm… One seventy five, two seventy five, three pounds for you! And a hotdog on the house!”

– “Same for me please.”

– “Look, there’s a new bench there. Quick, grab it girl!”

I hesitate to ask then brave the question:

– “Anita, can I enquire…. why won’t you eat without chopsticks?”

– “They make me feel slender. That’s it.”

– “Oh, must be a precious feeling for a millennial female.”

– “Ok,  Capricorn! it’s beauty goodies time!”

– “But you only had mustard for lunch!”

– “Yes, I needed to make up for the free granola bars they were handing out at the station. Here, I took a couple for your pretty Frances.”

– “Thanks. We ve got twelve minutes left. Put some lipstick on, off we go on a lucky errand….. hey, I said lipstick, not Mustard!”

*          *          *

Anita was sniffing all the new shampoo and conditioner cute bottles, not lending an ear to me.

– “Do you do Mustard shampoo, Madame?”

– “Mustard shampoo? Not as far as I know. But our latest cinnamon edition shampoo and conditioner in one is your closest bet. Let me ask my supervisor anyway.”

Leaving all the bottle lids halfway screwed, Anita looks high on exotic essences.

– “Please Sir, could you be kind enough to fill in our creative suggestion form, and very importantly, your email address, because we are treating you with this season’s sample case.”

–  “But we’re late to work…”

– “No worries – I can quickly  fill it in for you,  because I am impressed with the beautiful shine on your girlfriends hair.”

– “Don’t misspell your email address again!” Anita the spoiler sometimes behaves like she’s my girlfriend.

Mission exceeded, we two colleagues are pleasantly excited  by what items we got inside the gift bags.

We hear a thunderbolt.

It’s raining so heavily we have to stay under the porch, dodging the upset bargain shoppers who only want a square inch of shelter.

The rain grows thicker and cooler. I’ll never forget the next five minutes, when Anita opens the coconut shampoo and the small crowd of shoppers instantly start querring about the product.

Anita wants the stage, and she starts foaming her hair under the storm.

I think they gave us an aphrodisiac instead of shampoo. Passers try and take pictures… but the rain’s too thick.

I cannot recall a sexier scene than my very professional receptionist washing her locks under the violent spring shower. I want to ask her what her sign on the horoscope is.

Anita needs not to feel jealous about any single millennial or trillinial chick. The girls got it.

Before the rain recedes the receptionist’s head is wrapped in a newspaper.

A rain scent still lingers on her- even today,  as all customers keep boomeranging back to our shop.

*           *          *

On my way back after work, I don’t bother to collect free papers to cut out the horoscope for Frances, as I’ve been fed up of doing for the past couple of years. All I can think of is brushing with Anita’s hair. I forget to pop into the supermarket to get a coffee jar for the flat. I even forgot Frances’ gift bag!

*         *          *

The flat door is unlocked and I am hoping it’s not  some burglars coming to steal toilet rolls. There’s sachets of mustard over the kitchen table. Frances treating my Anita again as a gesture of fair competition.

– “Thanks, Frances! Frances, you in?”

She sneaks out from Tommy’s bedroom. I pretend not to notice. The keetle beeps.

– “Who got the coffee?”

– “Tommy won a tenner on the Lotto! Says Frances, bottoming her uniform.

– “Well done.  Can I keep the change?”

The evening is light as usual,  lifting the work fatigue just when it’s time to sleep.

I could have guessed! These geesas  are a couple! No wonder they don’t mind me being three months behind the rent…

What other stuff is to be discovered this week? Do I have to peep on one of Frances’ horoscopes to find out?

*          *          *

Two weeks later, and as I am still scratching the love bite, a couple of emails come in at once.

One from the landlord, and one from the beauty store. Bad news is landlord going on a gap year so wants one years rent ahead, good news is we won the two shampoo recipe contests. I only submitted one- shampoo with rainwater…

Over the phone, Anita can’t believe her luck, and starts laughing and laughing,

– “I made up a mustard shampoo formula, just as a joke….. I didn’t even test it…. can’t believe we won the grand, plus the lifetime supply of beauty products!”

Well, it’s all typed somewhere in cyberspace. As for me I need to find a new room. The grand comes in handy.

– “You moving out with Frances?”

– “Nope!”

– “Then come to my block! there’s a free room on the second floor sharing with some dictionary animals…. sure they ‘ll love the mustard shampoo….”

– “Thanks.  I ‘ll check the horoscope and get back to you.”

– “No probs, Capricorn! I’ll be practising on a new sardines moisturising cream formula as a good bye prank to Frances – while you make up your mind…… gosh you really got me into this.”

– “Just to remind you girls once again, I am not a Capricorn, but the lucky Sagittarius…”

The End

Keep the competition happy!

 

 

 

Secret Flowers, Dreadlocks and Blueberry Muffins.

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Once upon a dream there was a very special blueberry tree.

Its fruits refused to blend into muffins so they only showed at night, when they talked funny gossip about the garden bugs’ adventures.

And everyday, at nine o’clock, the flower delivery guy stole a fruit, dropped a braid and hopped away, happy to keep Ron the gardener’s secret during one more shift.

But the secret would soon become a muffin.

The antiques dealer and her charming servant lived towards the West of the garden. They never got tired of receiving a delicate bunch of flowers from an anonymous sender.

No, the flowers were not for the mistress, but for her jolly loyal servant Milly, who used the flowers to keep busy pressing them into cards or diadems, or anything she could come up with… but what Milly did not like, was to bake half a dozen of muffins at night , for Ms Jane to enjoy breakfast with her time-rich clients.

– ” You haven’t told Milly, have you?” The gardener would enquire from time to time.

– ” Sort of…. NOT.” And so  Ron the gardener would mess up the flower driver’s dreadlocks.

– ” I hope I don’t catch you nicking the blueberries”

– ” It’s a small price for a secret”

– ” Are you suggesting Milly’s heart is of a small value?”

– ” Oh, no, I didn’t mean that…. I mean you need to water the blueberry plant with brandy next time, so they grow plumper…” said John, trying to redo all his hair.”

– “Same time tomorrow!”

17149A70-0161-49E5-9270-DFEE02783ED2

Ron the gardener had first met Milly on her third day of work, when she rushed to him for help to mend a Vase she dropped while dusting. The girl was so worried that she didn’t say a word while glueing the pieces back together, one after another, until the vase was whole again. He was still hoping for a chance to talk to her- but all he got was ironical messages sent back by John, such as

“Please could Mr Love talk John into a haircut instead of sending the fifty- eighth bunch of  gorgeous flowers. Thank you.”

*          *          *

One morning there were no flowers delivered to the doorstep. The two ladies felt surprisingly unspecial.

“I just wish my fan would actually turn out to be….. John.”

Later in the day Milly received a call from Ms Jane saying she would be late,  for a very fine deal had been reached for some new acquired goods.

No pretty flowers to do artwork that day. Milly felt like having a break, so she went for a stroll down the lane.

She saw John picking some berries.

– “Where’ s my bouquet? Has my admirer given up so easy?”

– “Hey Milly! You scared me! Do you want some blueberries? The gardener’s away- there’s a rumour he won the lottery last night!”

– “The….. what? ”

– “Yep! The lottery.”

What a strange day this was, thought Milly. Maybe it was another fib.

– “John! Stop chewing that dreadlock !”

– “ooops… don’t tell  Ron…”

– ” About you biting your own dreadlocks?”

-” No, silly! about the blueberries…”

– ” Actually, I was just thinking I might take some for tomorrow’s darling muffins…. you won’t say anything?”

– “I might…. NOT”. They both laughed as usual.

– “See you again tomorrow when you bring my fan’s art supplies”.

Just before she turned away from him, some familiar car brakes pulled like the sound of a nightmare snorer, just in time for Jane and the gardener to catch the conversation.

The stalky man stepped out.  The look he gave Milly was like two slaps accross her face…. This strong fellow with those  calm, cloudy eyes was the one sending the flowers everyday! Dropping the stolen berries from her skirt and all over the floor, she was even more vexed by the gardeners spontaneous gesture: he was helping her pick the blueberries!…..

Ms Jane, who knew her servant just like a daughter, could follow the full story.

The gardener was firm,

– “I experienced the archaeologist’s dream yesterday while pulling out some roots. The Council insisted I could keep the old coins, so I was planning to buy some land for you and I Milly,  and even build a flower art workshop for yourself, just so you needn’t bake a single more muffin again. I already had in mind a lady who would do the housekeeping for you. You were to me the freshest flower in the bouquet, but now I see you are an ungrateful blueberry thief who mocked my feelings while taking the gifts.

– ” I’m so sorry, I…..”

– You’re not sorry. Today we found out who my real lady is… one who you should have learnt from.

– “Don’t talk to her like that!” Said John, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, “She works hard everyday and cheers up my mornings!, and it was me who offered the blueberries just now…”

– “Then take her hand… take it! I shall ask for Ms Jane’s on my knees.”

After a brief exchange of amusing glances, both men fell on their knees. The ladies felt a warm blush of complicity.

A sudden gush of wind blew a few ripe blueberries away like confetti, while the happy bugs flew and crawled towards the spot where the fruit spilt over.

– “One more thing,  Ron continued, my lucky messenger, if you could spare a couple of hours this evening to do a spikey dreadlock coiffure over this foolish head of mine, and it looks good- I promise you – all four of us will enjoy digging more coins out from the soil… and then we can do a proper  sausages and blueberries barbecue!

The drivers behind, who had been listening while they waited for Jane to move her car out of the way, started to beep and cheer….

– “Hey, we’re engaged!” Cried Milly, “can’t you wait? And please don’t drive over our blueberries! I’m trying a new muffin recipe in the early morning!”

The End.

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More posts coming soon

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