Happiness…? My Definition.

Me and jesusito…

A lady on a plane once told me Hapiness doesn’t exist, its just moments….

Geology lovers like myself…

Some say its making new friends!!!

The American Dream is sill alive…

But I say happiness is letting a child be a child,

Just as my mummy always does, and my daddy too,

My naughty baby book written decades ago…

Never swear and never give up your dreams….

DON’T FORGET TO FOLLOW THIS BLOG, ITS JUST A CLICK AWAY!!!

The End.

Enjoy your summer, and remember, your next best friend might just be a few yards from you… right now…!

SELF PORTAIT…HE,HE..HEEE!!!

Now That’s the end of the story…. tomorrow or after after tomorrow more…..!!!

The Compulsive Guiney Pig…

You see her around

Sometimes talking to herself…

Others up in the Clouds.

…….She loves taking her pills….

Her voice echoes up and down;

Is she happy today…. furious, or just…

Playing the Clown???

……..She loves skipping her pills.….

For only She knows what she’s doing:

Yes she’s half-free,

Like a bird or even a fairy!

……..Is she in love with that Shrink….Or just acting Silly in Town?...

The End.

Thanks for sharing!

More Humor here

Spring’s ears are showing!

A lovely little Friend of mine….

1. -Why did Shannon the teenager get arrested during the pandemic?

– She sported a mask that read the words “Kiss Me”.

2. Why did Leisha have a license to not wear a mask? she was always so angry, she scared the heck out of the viruses….

3. Three schoolmates reunite after twenty years.

The first says,

– I am in the happiest marriage in the world, look, my husband got me a rare pink diamond ring…

– that’s not what I call the happiest… my husband has my name and surname tattooed onto his forearm…

– you girls haven’t known happiness yet. my husband is the most loving in the world…
– how can you prove this? says the first friend,

– look here, the third girl lifts her skirt a little…, my hubby has me under a chastity belt!!!!

4. A woman is spotted by a police car, running naked around her neighbourhood. She is stopped.

– Okay, she says, you guys are going to fine me for being naked?

– Not really, ma’am. We are going to issue you with a fine for not wearing a mask. So please show us some I.D.

– As you can see I’m not carrying any I.D. on me! so you are going to jail me for not having any I.D. on me, right?

– You are wrong again, lady. We are going to jail you for exceeding the town’s speeding limit!

5. – Good morning,  I’m calling to book a cab with a vegetarian driver, please….

– A vegetarian driver?

– Thats right. You see, my husband loves me to wear that stinky perfume his mum got me… that smells like chicken…. and so I don’t want the driver to eat me!

Have a great springtime, and don’t forget to share!

Last Winter Jokes!

A gangster’s girlfriend is missing the intimate bit of the relationship, and decides to take action. She gets a policewoman outfit at the carnival shop, then eagerly waits for her man in the early morning, dressed up like his highest fantasy.
At last, and looking tired of an exciting night doing this and that, the boyfriend shows up and rolls his eyes at her sight.
– Jenny, is that you?
– yes, I ve been hired as an officer yesterday, I wanted to keep it as a surprise….
she starts unbuttoning her shirt expecting some kind of accrued passion- when he cries,
– could I borrow the suit to take some selfies?

* * *

A junkie’s daughter is asked at school what she would like to be when she grows up.

-Definitely, I want to be an astronaut!

– oh, do you?

-sure I do. I saw in a film they got massive, massive, stocked up fridges on spaceship board!

* * *

An angry customer walks into a pet shop with his dog and waits for his turn.

-Madame, I d like a refund for this maltersers dog because I’m disappointed.

– could you go more into detail?

– well, he behaves like a human. He puts back the lid onto the shampoo after his bath, brings slippers to my guests and always gives the remote control to my wife.

– I see. I’m afraid that’s not a good reason enough for a refund.

– Not a good reason enough? then please exchange my wife for a nice young lady that enjoys watching wrestling shows like I do!!!

* * *

A forty year old has had a bike accident and is in a deep coma. His relatives are desperately gathered around his bed when a drunk nurse walks in and sprays something onto the poor dying man’s nose.

As un unexplained miracle, the hopeless man is revived by the shock, coughs, swears and looks around…. his family are crying with happiness.

Two weeks later, the biker’s wife is reading a letter and cries

-You pig! you ve been pestering young ladies!

-I don’t know what you’re on about….?

-Yes, that nurse at the hospital had stuffed your face with some anti-rapist gas, and is know demanding half of our fortune…. or she will take you to court over sexual assault charges!!!!

* * *

Do enjoy the last winter days, don’t forget where you stock your skiing boots….. and get some great books here to prepare for the beautiful springtime!

….and that’s OK!

I only cry when I’m happy… and that’s ok.

I don’t check my email everyday…. and I haven’t missed a bargain.

I don’t fantasize with being a billionaire… I appreciate all my pennies.

I give spare change without making assumptions…. and also blow a smile.

I’m still faithful to my partner…. and this is great.

I pray myself to sleep every night….. and the Lord answers my prayers.

I don’t but expensive attires, and my shoes feel like comfy slippers.

I make dollies to give away to the orphanages, and the reward is priceless.

I listen to old ladies’ stories while waiting for the bus, and I love what they have to say.

The first thing I cry when I wake out of a nightmare is… “hooray!”.

I still sleep by my childhood teddy bear, and in a way believe he’s got life.

I don’t use make-up or hair dye, and that’s ok, they say.

I have made friends from all walks of life, and genuinely care for their well being.

I forgive and I pray for my worse enemies, and some have become great friends.

I secretly put marshmallows in my dieting best friend’s chocolate drink, and she’s still losing weight.

I deliberately over-tip bad service, as a good lesson to those working in pain.

I don’t socially drink- but instead sneak into the kitchen and clean the dishes…. and this is ok.

I make up the funniest passwords, and haven’t forgotten one to this day.

I don’t envy young fit women, instead I’m proud our city has this great asset to be decorated with.

I take monkey face selfies to make us all laugh when bored…. and that’s ok.

And you, my friend, don’t you think most of the things you do are…. just OK?

The End.

Jokes Instead Of Masks.

A man walks in to his routine medical check-up, and the physician finishes reading the test results.

-OK, I’m going to prescribe you one bottle of whiskey a day, along with one pack of cigarettes, three full courses of your favourite junk food, and a weekly visit to the gentlemen’s club.- This sounds great! Says the patient in disbelief, but are you sure all this will make me better?

– Errr….. well, replies the Doctor….. considering you only have six weeks to live…

* * *

Did you hear about the beginner’s skydiving group who didn’t make it past the first jump?

The instructor had gotten so absorbed into explaining the proper use of masks, he skipped the bit where was to teach how to fold a parachute….

* * *

Hi, Nancy! Long time! How ‘ve you guys been coping with the pandemic?

– Well, as everybody else, we ‘re pretty fed up with it all. I mean, eating our foods in wrapped paper, not being able to slap my kids when they are naughty, and kissing my husband through a mask…. and you?

– Oh, I find this all a very relaxing way of life…. except that I am spending a ridiculous amount of cash on clothes-matching designer masks!

* * *

Mum, I’m sick and tired of this pandemic! You’re all glued to the TV set, we ‘re not allowed to go clubbing, and everyday the mask spoils my make-up!

* * *

Honey, I think you should at once come to terms with your midlife belly: I would like you to use the stairs instead of the lift, carry all the groceries home for me, and redecorate my study from scratch…

– Would you also like me do your manicure everyday?

* * *

Natasha, I got great news! I’m going to lose three stone in three months ahead!

– That sounds fabulous! How are you going to achieve this?

Well, I bought a set of cutlery online which neutralizes all the calories you eat!

* * *

-Did you hear about the rapper who was queuing for six hours at the medical surgery’s?

– We was wishing to get his Ferrari vaccinated.

That’s all for today!

The good news is, you may now buy this Blog’s book

Keep enjoying!

The Vain Cherry

I am a Cherry, they call me the Dolly

Swung by the July wind under a Sun so keen

Too high up for the farmers to pick me

Yet at a height where I can hear the laughter of fellow cherries.

Today is so perfect, I am ripe and the World loves me

The day is long my tan is getting deep

Even the birds celebrate the Beauty

That exceeds from a redness whose name is a mystery

The wind is playing about and teasing joyfully

My tree is so strong I can live beyond my dreams

I’m not scared of dying, the perfect day is near

Engraved onto my seed which is my heart I keep at rear

How can a day be so long while a minute flies like steam?

At the garden community of bees and foxes

One day I shall be no more, but thrown into a box

Some greedy kid will gobble me and forget to plant my seed

Thank Goodness my friends will save me as they have once promised me:

The best best place in the wilderness by a cemetery

Where the snow disrupts the cities then melts like ice cream

Oh, no! A lady is picking us… I can’t help but to scream

The wind has taken away her bank card and ID

In return for daring to choose me so randomly

In a truck, at full speed, I feel surprised to enjoy this unexpected journey

I might not see the sun again, nor the foxes, or the bees

Yet I will certainly become part of some ideal feast

I had the time to say goodbye to my maker the Cherry Tree

He said I would be fine, and that one day become like he.

The End.

Thanks for sharing!

You may now buy the Blog Book

How a Rejection Bite becomes a Positive Incentive Booster.

Rejection. And the always longest routes we take in order to avoid it…. yet, some of us have had to learn the way to construcitively embrace it, making it a volcano-like source of free Energy…. But how?

Once I was studying at University when I finally landed on a local job interview. Sounded ideal! Duties were to nag passers into joining a private gym. That day the candidates were scattered about the area on a two-hour unpaid trial…. When I thought that it could have turned out to be a two hour waste of time, hope and energy, I gave my best in some kind of awe, and as awkward as the job felt to me, when my time was up there were customers I had convinced…. queuing at the premises.

I had never enjoyed a bet so much. And also won it!

The boss was incredibly uneasy, saying how good at it I was, to the point he couldn’t hire me. Even after hearing this, inspiration was running up my system, I would have done the job for free, wouldn’t it be for my academic duties. At least the lad was honest!

His appraisal landed me on my dream job which was the next, I would ever be grateful to him, even today- the skills I had built up during thise two anguished hours gave me the means to survive inside unknown terrains…. for a decade more.

I learnt to deal with rejection, if one says no I’ll ask even better next time, and so I became successful in many aspects of my life- especially professional.

We cannot tug our heads into mummy’s bosom everytime we get a rude negative- no matter what the kind of negative. My answer is, try harder!

Take, for instance, Melanie. She was a grossly obese overseas School cleaner, always picked on by the kids in the playground, who called her “Big Mamma” and played tricks on her.

After 6 months she had a decent survival’s command of English, and, fed up with the spoilt western kids, she one day snatched a football from the playground bully and started to sing a funny song from her homeland.

At first they laughed at her louder, but once they heard the melody and funny acting they all fell into her spell, not wanting to go back to class or home after the bells rung, and behaving in a newly and very civilised manner. Melanie was offered an after school playwork job within the premises and soon regrouped her family back to her new land.

It is just amazing how rejection can strike the right chord!

Another case is Amanda. Always being pointed out for her strange sense of humour and telling stories, she could never get a date throughout college. Once a guy pretended to date her just for a bet. On the last day I saw her, the chicks leader told her ” you should start a career in drama” and so Amanda left the cantine- we thought she was crying….. but no. Amanda became a famous comedian on a popular channel, married a producer and has now four kids!

When I saw the chick who picked on her I started to mention Amanda and she quickly changed subjects in shame….

And to finish we must know Stuart “pinocchio” ‘s story. Pinocchio always had a nose bleed, was utterly clumsy and wanted to be an astronaut, a taxi driver, then a pilot…. His parents even had to change him schools, for he was cruelly bullied.

Once on my way to a conference, an elderly lady slipped over the snow as she got off the bus. I immediately recognised a firm voice crying out,

” Don’t move, Madame, just lay your head over this jacket, I’m a doctor, and the medics will be here in a few minutes.” To my surprise, it was Pinocchio, looking after an old lady who had hit her nose on the pavement!

I couldn’t help to let a tear drop from eye, for it was not the right moment to rekindle with old schoolmates, obviously….

So let’s face it. Rejection is not only a part of life, but of everyday life, til the very last day, it’s human nature.

So we can choose- either we let ourselves get crushed and make be miserable for a lifetime, or we instead alchemise it and let the giant within ourselves take the opportunity to awaken and succeed.

Sometimes a rude encounter, expecting to ruin our day, unconsciously unleashes a little known daredevil inside of us who is eager to regain its freedom.

Always pointed out as being broke? Let the gossiping orchestra go on for a little while longer, as you save your pennies for a five figure business you have always had in mind!

But please, always remember to forgive this rude individual….for maybe he was having a rough time, spotted the giant within you, the giant he or she does not have inside…. he has done you a priceless favour!

A bet is a bet.

The End.

My 2020 Highlights.

My summer holidays…

Now what a year… 2020!

It has been the block year when I lost my keyring but found my set of keys

Got mad at myself then made up with lovely deeds

Set impossible goals all of which I achieved

Lost some dear friends and printed their names on my heart

Found a new stay at home style then took it with me to the office

Discovered my Faith was not buried… but burning inside of me

I encountered a kind friend inside my worst ennemy

Discovered my coping strategy was only shredded spaghetti

Rekindled new hobbies that make my life pretty.

I hope you all look back on the good memories- and if you think there’s one impossible thing to achieve, try again…. again… and again.

Destiny shows its own fancies!!!!

New suprise book coming very soon!!!

Happy Christmas and a Great 2021 to my dear readers!

Sandra xxx

For more Jokes, please check

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Books-Sandra-Zouak/s?rh=n%3A266239%2Cp_27%3ASandra+Zouak

Thanks!